The same can be said for you: “I just... I don’t even know what to do with this one.” Yeah, I can relate to the exhaustion.

I’ll say it as simply as I can: There is no evidence for what you believe. Reading a line like “God foreknew Jonah’s repentant heart” is like reading a protocol from the United Federation of Planets. The Bible has talking animals, a person getting turned into sodium, and a schmuck living inside an aquatic creature. Why is it so difficult for you to see that the Bible is a work of literature? The Hindus have their “sacred” texts. It’s fiction. Muslims have their holy text. It’s fiction. Show me any religion that has a man-god or a “messiah” figure at the center of the story and I’ll show you an intricate work of fiction. Don’t misunderstand. Fiction is fine. Fiction is great. I always have a novel going (currently it’s Lake Success by Gary Shteyngart). But don’t believe in the Jonah and the whale story or the Adam & Eve story or the seven-day “creation” story in exactly the same way I don’t believe in Harry Potter or Gandalf or Captain Kirk.

Try secular humanism. It will do you a lot of good.